While it is the call of church leaders to equip the saints for the work of the ministry, it is often the example that we set through our own obedience that best equips those that we are leading. The truth is that groups can be refined, efficient, and effective to a point, but when you get to the one on one, life together phase of discipling another person, you often end up throwing your plan out the window. Discipling someone is rarely going to be a neat, organized, linear process that allows room to move through steps 1-10 on a plan. It is more about understanding a person’s needs and asking the Lord to help you meet them. In other words, discipleship is much more art than science.
We all know that investing in anyone’s life will eventually get messy, and that is why many people choose not to disciple anyone. We have fears of not knowing what to say or how to help. We worry over not having enough in common to carry on a relationship. This is why your people need to be able to draw from your experience as a disciple maker. They need to see just how “normal” your interactions with someone you are discipling are. Some of us are more comfortable teaching scripture than others, but the person you are disciplining probably isn't looking to you for a masterclass on the book of Ephesians. They want to experience how your life is different because of the love that you have for Christ.
In the spirit of modeling discipleship, I want to share about a young man that I’m discipling right now. To protect him, I’m going to use a different name but let’s call him Manuel. Manuel is in his early twenties and has very little going for him. He grew up without his Father in his life and his mother is a drug addict. When I met Manuel, he had just been let go from a job, was about to be evicted from his apartment, and had just recently been to a cookout at his sister’s place where his mother held a gun to his head in anger. Manuel doesn’t have a car and had to borrow money to pay for an uber ride to come meet with me. He is in a low place, but even in his pain, has a smile that would cheer any soul.
I was introduced to Manuel by a young man that I discipled several years ago who had begun discipling Manual but moved to Houston and requested that I begin pouring into him. We met for the first time at a coffee shop downtown and I asked 100 questions about his life story, his understanding of who Jesus is, his current needs, and then we started talking about his expectations for a discipleship relationship. So, what does he want out of this? Mostly, a job. He longs for stability and self-sufficiency. This is a young man that has had never had a peaceful home and wants to experience what it's like to be his own man.
So, what does a discipleship relationship look like between Manuel and me? It’s pretty simple. I challenged Manuel with 3 things. Start reading the gospel of John on the YouVersion app. Start applying for 15 jobs a day on indeed and pray over both of those things. I challenged him to pray before he reads the Bible and before he applies for jobs. Does he do it every day? Absolutely not, but every other day or so when we connect over text or over the phone, I pray for him, share something the I’ve learned from the book of John, and I ask him what jobs he has applied and interviewed for. In between all of that we discuss everything else happening in life and I do my best to encourage him in every way possible. He probably thinks I’m the cheesiest white dude on the planet, but he knows I love him because I tell him.
There it is. No miraculous conversion story, no overnight life change, just two men who have decided to do life together despite their many differences. I pray for Manuel multiple times a day because I just can’t seem to get him off my mind. I think that is the Lord’s doing, and I love it. Discipleship.